How could you miss the obvious?

You know, lately I have begun to question whether I am cut out to be a parent. As parents we are supposed to be wise, patient, kind, insightful… near-omniscient, benevolent beings charged with the molding of young lives. But children have a way of exploding the Hallmark perceptions that we blissfully pack into parenthood.

Exhibit A:

Child #2, rinsing cereal down the kitchen sink and talking at the same time. 

Me: Hey, please don’t dump food down the sink!

Child #2: I’m not dumping food down the sink. (scrapes the bowl out with fingers)

Obviously I am mistaken as to the definition of “food”. Or maybe “sink”. But I was definitely WAY OFF.

Exhibit B:

Enter Child #11, with child #10 crying.

Sibling tattled that #11 hit #10 with an action figure.

Me: “Why did you hit your brother?”

#11: “I didn’t.”

Me: “Then why is he crying?” (The wails increase in volume.)

#11: “I tapped him. Very softly. I was nice!” 

Me: (eyeing the mark left by Captain America) “Then where did this come from?”

#11 shrugs, big innocent four year old eyes: “Maybe he was playing with a marker.”

*facepalm*

But my favorite is Exhibit C:

Child #2: “Why am I in trouble? I just don’t get it!”

Me: “Well, we have explained it six times. Mainly for arguing with Mom.”

#2: “I don’t argue with you!”

Me: “…um… yes… regularly…”

#2: “No, I don’t! I never argue with you!”

Me: “You are arguing with me about arguing!”

#2: “No, I’m not!”

Me: …..

Yessir, I missed my career path big time. My powers of observation are evidently far too limited for this parenting gig. Maybe I should consider something not quite so taxing for my inferior mental capacity… like rocket science. Jeez. The things that no one tells you about raising kids…

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4 thoughts on “How could you miss the obvious?

    1. Yeah… I have to take deep breaths and exercise the Mom fiat move fairly regularly. “We’re done. Present your case in a rational form later, not ad nauseam nor ad hoc.” The oldest 2 are taking debate this year…I may regret this. šŸ˜‰

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  1. Oh yes, we have had versions of ALL of the above. One particular standout instance of Exhibit C was the time when we had devolved to the “arguing about arguing” stage, and I flung my arm heavenward, pointing to the dark and stormy sky. “If I said it was dark, you’d say the sun was shining!”, I said. “It is shining…behind the clouds”, he replied. *headdesk*

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    1. They have to be RIGHT. And will argue until the cows come home, even when it is obvious to everyone else that they are wrong. Wow, talk about practice in “being the bigger person” and “Just let it go” and all that. Who knew that these smaller versions of ourselves would make us so crazy?!?

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