One year later…

As impossible as it seems, our first anniversary has come and gone. And what a year it has been! Not an easy one- not a smooth one- but one full of growth and fulfillment and joy.  

We took a trip to Denver, CO, just the two of us. It was the first time I had seen the Rocky Mountains, and while the altitude messed with me some, we managed to explore and have fun. A huge shout out to family who watched the Horde while we were gone and took care of our mini farm! 

Reflecting over the past year, a few things stand out as life lessons that I needed to learn. 

1) Just because it seems like the end of the world… doesn’t mean it really is. This is one that I started to learn through the divorce and subsequent challenges, but has been driven home this year through some of our difficulties  (and through parenting the King and Queen of teenage drama). I have learned to put my head down and just keep on keeping on, trusting that there is a way through.

2) Grace upon grace. For myself, for the kids, for my hero, for family members who have no clue what we deal with on a daily basis and inadvertently make our lives more difficult. Just grace. And a punching bag to work off the steam, sometimes. Giving myself grace is the hardest, because I think that I should be able to keep the house in order, the kids in order, myself in perfect shape, and everybody around me happy. (Yes, I am at times delusional.) 

3) Laughter really IS the best medicine. This is one that I continue to re-learn every few years. And I had forgotten… with the pregnancy, the hectic schedule, kids bucking the school and chore system, I had forgotten to laugh for a while. But it feels SO GOOD to laugh with my kids at their silliness, or at the baby goats bucking in their pen, or the dogs being their goofy selves. I am remembering to look for the fun and enjoy it, not just focus on what has to be done. 

This may all sound elementary to you. I know I’m not the sharpest pencil in the cup- it takes me a few licks with a 2×4 for the lesson to be driven home. But this time around, this past year of refining and rejoicing has driven these lessons deeper, from an intellectual agreement to an instinctive response. And I am deeply thankful. Thankful that God loved me too much to allow me to just exist- that He pushes me and sands off the rough edges and reminds me that even while He corrects me, I am loved.